if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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