Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
