shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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