Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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