there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
