I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Found your dick twin last night
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You need Xanax blowdarts
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
