I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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