You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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