Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
