i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
