Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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