If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Found your dick twin last night
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
