I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
