well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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