I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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