Is it normal to miss your booty call?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
there is glitter all over my balls
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize