I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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