let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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