i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
