susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
