His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
