If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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