i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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