He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
