It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I checked into jail on foursquare
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
