This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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