Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
