I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
