i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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