Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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