you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
