There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
