Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
