His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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