it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
