Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
