Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
why do cheetos always look like penises
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
