The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
