To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
