I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
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