It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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