It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Randomize
