she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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