the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
