she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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