hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So vagazzling was a success
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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