you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
