Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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