You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You ate ashes out of my bong
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
