Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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