This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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