barbara walters just said penis...
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
