her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
