He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
