It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I can't put those talents on a resume
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
