I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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