I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
