So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just made my gag reflex go away.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
